I LUB U

Don't go that way, I'll wait for you.

Will you wait for me too?

Writing my lit analysis! Will write more in 7th period!

Hello it's 7th period and I'm writing, just like I promised. I keep my promises. When it's convenient for me.

I'm going to start quoting myself in everyday life.

"I keep my promises. When it's convenient for me." - Cassie Morin

I'm so inspirational.

And funny.

And homeless.

I like this smiley. Ö

It makes me smile.

y.

Hahahaha...ha... GET IT?

Kenny posted another blog.

TIME FOR ANOTHER RENDITION OF MY LIFE IN A BULLETED LIST. V.

• No drama practice all week this week. I LOVE MY HOUSE SO MUCH.
• The Strokes are stuck in my head.
• My stomach doesn't enjoy hot dogs. Don't feed me hot dogs.
• I'm getting fat. It's wonderful.
• EXPLOSION!!!!!!!!!! CAPITAL EXPLANATION POINT!
• Webdings font doesn't work.
• I wonder what Bre's writing about.
• She's on google. I'll never know.
• She's googling capri sun straws.
• Wat.
• "I met you. You're a serial killer and I know it." - Skinned Alive
• ^ that's a blog that I'm following. It's a wonderful blog. She hasn't posted in months. The last thing she posted as "I miss this place. And of this time, only this place." I LOVE THE THINGS SHE WRITES.
• So cryptic.
• Sometimes, cryptic is okay.
• Quote me on that one.

Yep.

alright.

Love might bring us back together.

I'm in first period right now, working on my Lit Analysis. And, apparently, writing a blog. Don't know how that happened.

Well, got lots done today. Take that, blog! You won't distract me today!

See you later.

For the good of all of us, except the ones who are dead.

And believe me I am still alive.

I'm doing science and I'm still alive.
I feel fantastic and I'm still alive.
And when you're dying I'll be still alive.
And when you're dead I will be still alive.
Still alive, still alive...

I WANT THIS CLASS TO BE OVER BLAH. WHY.

I'm in computer apps right now. This class is really not my forte. I have 4 minutes left. IT JUST WONT END, GRR.

Hey it's ending! See you 7th period.

HELLO IT'S 7th PERIOD.

I'm showing Bre a song from Portal. I quoted it in the title and ^^^ up there. Melissa's angry and sad. That makes me sad.

Go ahead and leave me.
I think I prefer to stay inside.
Maybe you'll find someone else to help you.
Maybe Black Mesa.
THAT WAS A JOKE. HAHA. FAT CHANCE.

I love portal.

Stupid italics. Now I'm showing Melissa the song. Poor Melissa.

"I bet it's a sewage container. Go ahead and rub your face all over it."

GLaDOS is the best.

Bre's being a whinebag about my headphones. I just do stuff.

Oooohhhh oohhh oohhhh ohhh ohhhhhhhh. That was a quote from New Slang by The Shins. I bet you already knew that though. You're so smart and funny. I bet your mother loves you dearly. And your brother too. Who's a straight-a student. And athletic and handsome. He's faithful and loyal to his fiancee. You shouldn't pick your nose like that though, it's bad for your nose and it's also kind of gross. But everyone loves you, so it doesn't matter, right?

That's your thinking.

You're such a good thinker. I bet you studied philosophy in college.

I'm not bitter.

Not at all.

...well anyway

I could attempt to explain what sent me into a spiraling psychotic episode, which made me post my last entry, but I really don't think any of it would make sense. Title and words were a Bright Eyes quote, you should check out that song because it's amazing.

It's sunday night. LET'S TALK ABOUT HOW MUCH I HATE EASTER.

^ that picture kind of looks like my dog. I thought that was awesome.

UNLIKE EASTER.

Okay so here's the deal with Easter. Easter is basically the day when everyone gathers around their happy Jesus campfire and sing Kumbija and throw Bibles at unsuspecting citizens on the street. Or, basically, a less awesome christmas.

Which is great. Unless you're an Atheist walking down the street.

Which I am.

I'm the hipster snob who looks strangely like House.

Every Easter sunday, my parents go all religious and are all like

and I'm like

and crawl in my room and write evil cryptic poetry about how God is secretly evil and Satan is doing the holiest work by torturing men for eternity.

Wow, that was super offensive. I kind of feel bad for that visual. If I were a christian, I would douse myself in holy water right about now. I wish I wasn't a sociopath and I actually felt guilt and regret. I am a horrible person, don't listen to anything I say.

Actually, I take that back. Listen to the things that I say when I'm in my right mind. I am not in my right mind right now at all, which I will explain a bit later.

(Sorry if I offended you.)

Anyway.

WOW IT'S GETTING LATE 9:44. That's late for me. You know what late for my parents is? 7:44.

Well, now I offended my parents at least three times. Look like the horrible child reward goes to me.

I should stop typing. But now I feel the urge to offend as many people as possible.

I really shouldn't do that. Only 5 people, including myself (whom I offend on a daily basis), read this blog. All of whom know me in real life. NOT COUNTING CREEPY STALKERS. I'm onto you guys though, oh yes I am...

But my point is, they could all gang up on me and beat me up. Shove my head in the toilet. Throw me in the dumpster.

I'm imagining Mr. Mitchell doing all this and laughing pretty hard. Probably because I keep having weird dreams where I'm hiding in his "apartment" with some strange lumberjack character and he always looks so creeped out all the time, even though he doesn't know we're there.

PROBABLY BECAUSE A TEENAGE GIRL AND A LUMBERJACK ARE HIDING IN HIS APARTMENT.

Well now I've officially creeped out Mr. Mitchell and got myself into a laughing fit. (it's funny because it's all completely true)

I'm going out of my mind.

I NEED SCHOOL WORK.

OH MAN, LIT ANALYSIS DUE WEDNESDAY. I COMPLETELY BLEW OFF EVERYTHING ON VACATION, WHY DID I DO THAT? WHY DO I ALWAYS DO THAT TO MYSELF?

...Oh right.

Same reason I'm going insane.

So here's why I'm having dreams about living in Mr. Mitchell's house, breaking into the school and setting off the alarm, and just freaking out in general:

I'm taking artificial hormones.

Sounds like a death wish, right? It is. I've been absolutely out of my mind for the last 6 days because doctors exist and want me to be healthy. I won't go into details. All you need to know is I'm currently voluntarily supplementing myself with everything that sucks about being a teenager.

I HATE EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE AND MY LIFE.

AND EVERYTHING.

ESPECIALLY YOU.

Oh I beat portal this weekend. I LOVE PORTAL. I WANT A COMPANION CUBE PLUSHIE. IT'S GOING ON MY WISH LIST. I NEED A JOB. Wow a lot of things are new in my life. HOLD ON, IT'S BULLETED LIST VI TIEM

• I'm not even angry.
• I'm being so sincere right now.
• Even though you broke my heart and killed me.
• And tore me to pieces.
• And threw every piece into a fire.
• And as you did it hurt because I was so happy for you!
• (I laughed at that verse, just to prove my utter insanity.)
• Okay so new things. Vacation is ENDING. Normally I enjoy vacations, but sometimes... They're just too long. How will I ever handle this summer? I have no idea. I NEED MY LICENSE.
  
• Need to make Volume 8. I keep putting it off and putting it off, but I think I found a way to make me more motivated. I'm going to call it, "volume 8, or, songs I hear that remind me of you" to add more creativity and get my juices going.
• Ew.
• I'm already aware that I'm a crazy person.
  
• Branching off of that, I'm not nearly as depressing as I seem to be at times. I just need to spend more time alone by myself in my own apartment feeding myself clothing myself and not being around people ALONE.
• While working because I mean really could anyone sit around and do nothing for their entire life? (Plus I need money.)
  
• Don't answer that question by the way. You'll lessen my faith in humanity.
• I find it strange that I enjoy christmas but despise easter. but I don't. Christmas is a lot different than easter. Christmas is just happy time, while easter is just religion time.
  
• Cassie does not like religion.
• Cassie likes happiness.
• But not religion.
• I heard a sermon guy talking on my parents' computer taking about how the Romans who killed Jesus aren't human beings and I was like whaaat?
• That confused me but I laughed.
• Because I laugh at everything.
• I know this blog is really long. Sorry. Words are spewing out of everywhere.
• Ew.
  
• I actually kind of like this bulleted list thing. I could do this for my entire blog.
• Blog of bulleted list.
• Bulleted blog.
• bulleted frog.

Yep.

She was free.

To waste.
Away.

Alone.

Because heaven sends, and heaven takes

Crashing cars in his brain
Keep him tied up to a dream
And only she can set him free
And then he says to me

KILL ME NOW KILL ME NOW KILL ME NOW KILL ME NOW!

I love the Killers.

Melissa is my hero.

"You can do anything you want, Melissa. The only thing you can't do is impregnate another woman."

....

"Challenge accepted."

OH MAN, LOL.

I love this song so, so much.

Mr. Mitchell, get Hot Fuss (album) by the Killers. It's a wonderful, wonderful album.

bye!

Coming out of my cage, and I've been doing just fine

I LOVE THE KILLERS. But yeah. Promise kept.

Hold on hold on hold on.

She's got her halo and wings
Hidden under his eyes
But she's an angel for sure
She just can't stop telling lies

But it's too late for his love
Already caught in a trap
His angel's kiss was a joke
And she is not coming back

ITALICS REFUSES TO DIE. WE'RE JUST GOING TO HAVE TO MAKE DO. (Due?)

It's time for the next installment of my life in a bulleted list. III.

• Ihatebeingwrong.jpg. The Faint is awesome.
  
• gtjl;r;ohkdo;hj
• Melissa's showing me something and I'm distracted.
• I'm going to be after school for like 100 years today.
• My fingernails are short.
• Bre and Kenny are talking about music that I know but don't like.
• Well, some of it I like, but I think they take it to a different degree than I do.
• Blastoise is a TANK!!!!!
• I'm an Atheist.
• I wonder if teachers have religions.
• Teacherism.
• Teacherist.
• Teacher preacher.
• Preacher TANK

Yep.
I have something to rant about actually. RANT TIME.

I hate it when people expect you to read their minds. It's kind of like passive-aggressive, but worse. Maybe it is passive-aggressive. I'm going to listen to Passive by APC now. I love Maynard. I hate passive-aggressive people and people who expect you to read their minds. I think people like that are too submissive. It's annoying.

BUT WHATEVER. Everyone is irritating.

Melissa's writing words. Bre's writing words. I'm listening to music and thinking about Anime Club and Drama.

You know, I like school. I do. I just hate the people at school. I would go to a school where only I attended if I could and I would be perfectly happy. I think classes would be a lot more awkward though. I mean, it's like being privately taught something after school. Even if it's helpful, it's still just so AWKWARD. Like, "hey, it's after school so we're both considered people now... And I can't sink into the shadows when I'm done talking now... Awkward and frightening..."

I have a headache now.

Well, two rants in one day. Feelin' pretty good.

Note to self: Check out "Does it offend you, yeah?"

Man, that comic cracked me up.

Okay okay okay okay. Here's some lyrics.

Sometimes I wonder
If I know where I’m going.

I go for a walk like this.

It seems I have been walking
for years and years and years.

And I don’t know where I’m going.

I hear the sound leading me on
and I don’t know where it is taking me.

That song is called Life in the Rain, by Quantic. I listen to it a lot on the sims. But outside the sims, I listen to the Killers. I LOVE HOT FUSS. Probably going to be lyrics from the Killers in the next entry.

Bre's listening to Radiohead because I'm making her, and I'm listening to Skrillex because she's making me. This song is pretty cool, it's dancey dance time!

I've been writing a lot of poetry recently. It's pretty morbid and horrifying poetry. One of them is about a whale named Mary (Full name is Mary the Damned but no one knows that, she's the topic of some of my poems) who slaughters 20-some men. She's basically a sociopath. It's wonderful. I'm such a happy person.

I'll write more later, I have to go. Bye Mr. Mitchell and Creepy Stalkers!

IT TOOK ME 40 MINUTES TO FIND THIS

Where I'm From

I am from laptops and headphones, from 19-hour

phone calls and Avatar: The Last Airbender marathons.

I am from the second to last house on Alma

Drive, where the snow doesn't completely melt in

the front yard until May.

I am from the leaping grasshoppers in the front

yard and the jumpy crickets and frogs in the

back,

the forest in the backyard, where it was easy to

play hide and seek and not get found.

I am from many Thanksgivings at Memere's, at the

children's table with distant cousins who ate

their boogers, and a hard-of-hearing great-

grandfather who survived World War II,

from Linda and Barry and Don and Uncle Sean.

I am from the Christmas dinners between only my

Mother and me, being grateful for everything we have,

from "feed the cats" and "put away the dishes".

I'm from Maine and France and Germany, from

chicken nuggets and spaghetti with garlic bread.

I am from the photograph slideshow on the coffee

table, marking the stages of my life and the

memories I'll never forget.

I forgot what I'm supposed to be doing on the computer!

Time to blog naturally. Cool. I dig just writing down words, you know? No structures. Just letting the words flooow outtt like a riverrr or a... a riverrr.

Yeah...

Okay so stuff. This weekend has been super weird. Apparently, I'm really screwed up in the head, like House in rehab screwed up. (I adore that episode (Broken) by the way, it's wonderful.) I learned this weekend that I am literally afraid of almost everything that I can be afraid of.

Well, not like phobia afraid, but like, deeper, emotional kind of afraid. Like, how people are afraid of commitment and rejection and things like that. Except, my fears are like amplified times a million. I found this out by acknowledging the things that have been causing me pain for months instead of running away from them.

I've also been suppressing a lot of things. Ever since last summer, I've been suppressing almost every difficult situation. And if I'm not suppressing it, I'm running from it, like I said earlier. My "flight" tendencies are really getting me absolutely nowhere. I need to start fighting back, which was brought to my attention this weekend. You can imagine what kind of impact this has had on my attitude. Naturally, I've been keeping myself in my room all weekend to try and fix my head so my mom probably thinks I'm being strange, which is kind of lame, but really, (and I know this sounds cliche but bear with me here), I just don't feel like she would completely grasp what I'm going through.

Going to school is going to be super fun. I'm probably going to forget about this revelation and backslide into my lovely empire of dirt.

Wonderful. Just wonderful.

I've been trying to figure out of my depression is clinical or not also. Every time I ask myself, I get this type of reply: "No, it's not clinical. You're just letting something fester." And then I recognize that it's about last summer; the abandonment, the loneliness, the loss...

I'm starting to recognize the pain that's causing me, and I think I'm starting to move on from it.

But I'm not at the same time, because the next phase of life is too far away. Well, maybe not. Maybe things will be different when I get my license. Maybe things will be different when I can just... Get away from here. Even for small portions of time.

So that's my emotional whatnot.

I think the right side of my brain is working.

I also realized that really, I've been in hiding for a long time. A lot of what I say isn't me, it's just a front face. People have come to know it so well, I think it would be weird to be myself now.

I don't know, I'm turning this into a Random Thoughts session. I think I'll just write that poem for VWP now to get out some creative energy.

Hey, that's what I was supposed to be doing!

Nightmares, Kenny's Blog, My Life in a Bulleted List

I turned away because I thought you were the problem
Tried to forget until I hit the bottom
But when I faced you in my blank confusion
I realized you weren't wrong, it was a mere illusion

I hope I have something to write about today. Drama rehearsals slowed, so I've been home and that got my brain thinking again. Which is kind of sad. Thinking is dumb.

Anyway, I've been having these frickin' crazy nightmares about my friends turning into serial killers and slaughtering me. The first one was about Patrick ripping out my heart with his claws, and the other one was about Melissa smiling and taking out a knife and cutting off my limbs. Needless to say, the nightmares are back.

Sigh.

Nothing about him though, which is nice for once. Usually they somehow include him, but I guess my subconscious is staying off the subject. FINALLY.

So yeah. My life sucks again.

I just read Kenny's blog. Kenny's horrifying and lulzy. It's fun to read people's blogs, like, people never say out loud what they're actually saying ever! They always say what they think in blogs. It's awesome.

Okay I need inspiration. I have nothing to write about.

Umm, okay.

My life in a bulleted list, II:

• Footloose is coming along well. Hooray!
• Daft Punk is going on my favorite bands list.
• Bre's writing about God.
  
• Melissa's looking up knock knock jokes.
  
• My hair is greasy today. Sad face.
• Kenny just posted another blog.
• My lips are chapped.
• I have a headache from HADES.
• Some other stuff I can't think of right now.

Yep.

ITS DANCEY DANCE TIME!

stuff

stuff

Comics, Footloose, Not an Entry

OH GOD OH GOD HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Okay I'm done.

Okay so yeah. I have literally nothing to write about. I'm busy being alive. I won't even write in Random Thoughts. Mostly my thoughts are about the play and school. '


Man, it just never gets boring.

This doesn't count as an entry, but...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Facebook (Introduction), Radiohead, Sims 3

If I get bored, I'll start my own religion
I'll teach people to worship the drums And to speak in tongues
And no longer will my country eat its young

Changing the layout of my blogs a bit. Title contains topics of the blogs (so I can stay focused kind of?) and first line of blog will be lyrics. I like the evolution of my blogging.

So stuff. I got my Sims 3 to work on my new computer. I've been having a field day with it. I forgot how awesome it was. It's even better when you can travel to new places across the world. I adopted a chinese person into my home, haha. Her name is Wu Xio. She's awesome. She's a gardener and has a robot best friend.

Umm, I posted this blog to my facebook profile. I feel like now a lot more creepers can see what I'm thinking. That's a little unsettling, but eh. I mean, if I didn't want people to know what I was thinking, I wouldn't have posted a blog. But I mean, this blog is just full of nonsense so I can pass English. No offense Mr. Mitchell. What I mean is, I haven't really taken it seriously. Well, I have, but not in a way where I feel I can actually get to know my audience. I just kind of spit out whatever I'm thinking. I think I'll start putting thought into what I post from this point in. Hey cool, and I totally set myself up for just that. I like it when I do things sometimes.

So yeah. How about that weather... Audience... (creepy stalkers)

Wow, I googled "creeper kitty" for the sidebar thing, and I got a very strange result, which I will of course be posting if you don't feel like googling it yourself. Very, very strange.

So, uh, now that I'm taking this blog seriously, I feel it's only appropriate to do some sort of introduction of sorts. But first, we need our serious faces on.

That's about as serious as serious can get.

So uh, you probably already know my name, but if you don't, it's Cassie. Hi there. I'm 17. Holy crap, I'm old. Uh. I feel like I'm talking to a video camera for a dating site or something. This is weird. I know, let's do bulleted lists.

Things I like:

• Writing
  
• Music
• Math
  
• Psych
• House M.D.

Okay so there's some stuff to work with. I think I'll talk about those things later because it seems like a cool thing to do.

Yep so that's me. You now have background information to refer to when I talk about things.

Writing that list made me realize how much I miss House.

SPEAKING OF RADIOHEAD, I listened to OK Computer a couple days ago. Ihatebeingwrong.jpg; I misjudged Yorke's ability to make good music. Well, I mean, In Rainbows was only okay and it was the only CD that I had heard at the time, okay. I'm sorry, I just do stuff, you know?

Anyway so yeah, I really do miss House. Wish I didn't devour those seasons so quickly. I could really enjoy some new House right about now. But I think I'll just play the Sims 3 again. Wu Xio awaits.

Now I can say this for real. See you later, Mr. Mitchell and Creepy Stalkers.

P.S. Is that cat weird or what?